Our Collected Regrets

Cookies

2009-09-28T11:44:00.003-04:00

Rather than trusting a time-tested and proven delicious brand, I purchased the above package of Big Top sandwich cookies because I am poor and they were very cheap. Later we discovered, not surprisingly, that they are cheap because they are manufactured primarily from sawdust. Astute readers will note that this did not stop us from eating more than half of them.

Little Caesars

2009-09-04T23:05:00.005-04:00

On my return from a Great Northern vacation, passing through the no-man's land of Northern PA, I spied a little restaurant from my past -- a Little Caesars existed, outside a K-Mart! I had to eat there, for nostalgia's sake. My stomach later disagreed with this decision. Some crazy bread and cheese pizza later, I regretted.

A Really Bad Joke

2009-08-26T21:36:00.004-04:00

My parents came to visit me today, and over dinner my father says "So, do you know what the baby chick said when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?"

I just glare at him for a few seconds, because I know the precise kind of groan I will be uttering in the near future. Unable to recall the punch line, I resign myself to my fate and say "No, I don't."

"Gee! Look at the orange Marma laid!"

Bad Taste

2009-08-12T13:50:00.005-04:00

In addition to describing what I felt in my mouth after actually seeing the inaugural posts on this blog, this post accurately indicates the object of my regret. I was creating the blog in the presence of my esteemed peers and they were all like "just pick a layout, it doesn't matter which one" and "yeah, whatever, it's not a big deal" so I picked one.
For the curious, here is a picture of the previous post, captured for all time in glorious pink and purple Barney-the-Dinosaur-o-vision. I trust everyone will find the new scheme more acceptable.

"A prehistoric beast born 50 million years out of time!"

2009-08-08T23:20:00.003-04:00

Imagine that Godzilla took a lower-budget vacation in Copenhagen, after being buried for approximately seventy million years. Now, also imagine that he could regrow himself from a six-foot section of his tail, which is the only piece found of his enormous frame. You can now begin to share our regrets at having seen a film that has an IMDB rating of 3.3, just shy of the bottom 100 films of all time.

A Game of Monopoly

2009-08-01T18:55:00.000-04:00

Fully ignoring the well-established fact that a game of Monopoly is one of life's most interminable events, the four of us sat down to a game of it today just after lunch. It just ended. Here is a picture of the board at the end; congratulations to Harry on his victory.